I’ll right a slightly longer review in a minute, and then a much longer review with spoilers, and then possibly a much MUCH longer review with scene by scenes (but maybe not, it’s not really that kind of movie). But for now, having just gotten home, I want to simply requite the wholesale strokes of the wits by the numbers.
Number of people at a noon show on a regular working Wednesday: 4 men, 8 women, 1 baby.
Percent of wig versus SRK real hair: 50/50
Jingoism on a scale of 0 to 10: Veering wildly as upper as 8 and as low as 2 scene by scene, finally landing virtually 3
Plausibility of whoopee scenes: Negative 10
Enjoyability of whoopee scenes: Positive 200
Dips-SRK Chemistry: Below Chennai Express, whilom Happy New Year
Number of songs in the film: 1 plus end credits song
SRK-Salman Chemistry: Same as Karan-Arjun
SRK Comfortable Self-Aware Charm: Stable at a Thousand, as always
Logic in Plot: Not Applicable
Amount that I myself enjoyed it: If Chennai Express is 100, and Zero is Zero, somewhere virtually 80%
Slightly Spoiler Bonus, Trigger Warnings: 1, if you’ve come out of the past few years with a virus phobia