“Well, if you hate Ted Cruz, this was a pretty fun week. And if you like Ted Cruz, then you’re Ted Cruz,” anchor Colin Jost said.
“Senator Cruz, whose face is slowly being reclaimed by nature, felt that his decision to go on a family vacation to Cancun while Texas was facing a weather emergency was ‘obviously a mistake,’ as was the tattoo he got there.”
“Cruz initially released a statement saying he only went on vacation because his daughters made him go, and you think it was bad for him to throw his daughters under the bus, Cruz would like you to know that statement was his wife’s idea. I did love that after he abandoned Texas, he came back in a Texas flag mask like nothing happened. That’s like Jared and Ivanka walking down Fifth Avenue with ‘I Love NY’ shirts.”
Michael Che piled on, “Cruz would’ve returned to Texas sooner but it took him 40 minutes to get out of the hammock.”
Jost added of Texas’ energy crisis, “Many conservatives in Texas are falsely blaming the state’s power outages on renewable energy sources, while other conservatives think that the power outages are most likely the result of gay marriage.”
Also on Weekend Update, Jost and Che tackled the Mars Perseverance rover landing, vaccine fraud in Florida and Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s divorce: